Sunday, February 20, 2011

I'm Blue

Have you ever wanted to walk into a restaurant full of farmers and construction workers on their lunch breaks and REALLY get them to notice you?  And by that i mean openly stare, in that blatant, slack-jawed, "is what I'm seeing even human?" sort of way?  Then look no farther.  For about $10 and a trip to Walgreens, you can buy yourself a bleach and dye kit (I recommend Splat brand's Blue Envy*) and guarantee** that all eyes will be on you any time you leave the house and venture out into the world.  You don't even need to do all of your hair.


*disclaimer: i haven't been paid nor have i been asked to post a review for this product (or any other.  Ever.  And that's not likely to change any time soon.) 

**guarantee void in towns with populations under 4,000

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Comments Enabled

Whoops, it seems to have escaped my memory that the embedded comment feature does not work with pyzam layouts.  Now, to comment, you will click a link to take you to a separate page for that purpose, and it should work just fine.  My bad!

Ozark Chic

"That was very Winter's Bone of you."

I was talking with my dad and his two best friends yesterday, and i told them about hiking across three fields in the snow to bring my neighbor some drinking water last month when the well was out.  D., a 50-something who's lived here his whole life, made the statement above and followed it with, "And you wore a pair of Carhartts, didn't you?"  Yes sir, you bet your ass i did.  Because that's how we roll in the Ozarks.

Saturday, February 5, 2011

Hot Cocoa Recipe

1 cup cocoa powder
1 cup water
1/2 cup (or more, up to 1 cup to taste) honey
6 cups milk
2 cups heavy cream

Heat the cocoa powder, water, and honey over medium heat (stirring occasionally) until it thickens, then add (or heat separately and mix, if your pot is small) the milk and cream.  Top with marshmallows if you're not vegan or picky.

Thursday, February 3, 2011

Digging Out

I find it cute that some of my city-dwelling facebook friends are complaining about shoveling driveways so they can get out in the wake of the Midwest Snowpocalypse.  Those of us that don't live on a flat, plowed street have to work a bit harder.  So i offer you a quick how-to on basically digging out your entire neighborhood.

First of all, i should list out the typical warnings: you shouldn't attempt to shovel snow if you're ill, elderly, have a heart condition, etc.  You should also be sure to pace yourself, not matter what your health status is.  Remember that it's ok to take frequent breaks.  This isn't a race, and in fact, you'll see in a moment that i didn't finish today.  That's ok too.

So here's what you'll need: warm clothes (i heart my coveralls), a pair of gloves, a hat, and a good shovel.  Forget the plastic types completely, and unless you're lucky enough to have nothing but powder, forget the flat ones in general.  I suggest grabbing the pointed type that's used for digging, for that pesky layer of ice on the bottom (we have well over an inch this time).  Besides, i love a tool that can multitask.  Remember, with tools, you get what you pay for most of the time, so if you can, go big and get something sturdy.  Mine is tempered steel with a fiberglass handle.


I also suggest wearing good footwear.  You'll need something that will keep your feet dry as well as offer plenty of tread for slick spots.  This is an example of what not to wear:


Mental note: pick up work boots from the other house once you get out.

So you've got your shovel, you're all bundled up, and you head outside.  Then you see this:

(the driveway)

Aaand a little of this:

(the street)

So where do you start?  I suggest thinking back to the last time you drove a little recklessly.  Where did you last feel your tires slip?  If you're awesome and that's never happened to you, choose the place where you tend to accelerate to make it up the hill, or brake so as not to miss the intersection.  That's where i started: from the middle of the hill to the main street.

Actually, first-first, you'll want to cut down the 2-6 ft pile of snow the county road crew left blocking the intersection (thanks a lot guys) so you don't end up hung up there.  That will defeat the purpose of all this work.  Be sure to pile it all up to the right side, so the plow doesn't just drag it over again next time. 

Next, you'll want to decide if you want to work from the bottom up, or the top down.  Starting at the bottom will cause less strain on your back, because you're not bending over as much.  But it requires more upper-body strength.  Starting at the top and working your way down is less strain on your arms, but it's harder (for a girl at least) to keep your balance.  I personally prefer working uphill, because i don't like to fall on my face.  But it's a matter of choice and style really.

I should have had someone take a picture of the ice-breaking step.  It's a little hard to describe, but if you've ever done it, very obvious.  Hold your shovel point-down, about mid-way down the handle.  Don't strike it with the point perpendicular to the ground, because it'll just get stuck there, but rather angle the apex at a 45 degree angle so you're hitting the ice with the edge.  Now break and scrape, tossing the snow well out of the way.

That's really all there is to it.  You can be a hero and try to clear the whole damn street, but really you only need to do two tracks a car's-width apart.  I stopped once my chosen section was complete, leaving another section for tomorrow.


It's not pretty, and it sure doesn't look like much, but with a little sun tomorrow, it should to the job

Here i am looking smug about it:

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Snowpocalypse

How is everyone faring?  Our 'epic' snowfall wasn't particularly epic here afterall (a couple inches of sleet and four inches of snow), but it's pretty, as evidenced from the view out our front door:


We won't be going anywhere for awhile though, considering the state of our one-lane road:


We've been doing the only logical thing: making snowcream.


2 cups heavy cream, 1 can evaporated milk, 2 cups sugar, 2 tsp vanilla, and one large bowl of fresh, clean snow.

Introduction Post

I wasn't going to make a formal introduction post, but as much fun as it is to generalize 'city folk' and 'country folk' there are really so many differences within the two groups that i can't accurately claim any sort of expertise on rural living if i don't narrow down the field a bit--at least this way you can do your own research about anything i claim, or argue if you know someone who knows better.

So here's a bit about me: I'm a married, stay-at-home mom of three.  I homeschool my kids, but not for religious purposes (around here that's weird and definitely worth mentioning).  I was born, raised, and continue to live in southwest Missouri.  I used to live in a 'city' of 4000, but i currently reside near a town with no official population data available (i'm going to estimate there are around 300 people living between the 'entering' and 'exiting' signs, and perhaps up to 1000 in the outlying area, generously counting anyone who gets mail from our post office, and all of the undocumented types that live in RVs, tents, caves, etc. nearby).  I'm 'city' enough to be frustrated when utilities don't work, but 'country' enough not to be surprised.

I'm not going to get too personal here.  I will probably post pictures of myself and my family on occasion, and while it would be simple to put names to faces by matching up posts on my other blogs, i'm going to assume that my readers won't be nearly that bored or desperate for entertainment.  I won't use the names of my town, neighbors, or kids, just to lower the amount of google hits by creepy types.  If they still make it here, we'll get to the posts about my guns soon enough (he he).  But i'm not going to be particularly paranoid either.  I'm not exactly worried about losing a job offer based on my internet presence or anything like that.

You may be wondering what the purpose of this blog is.  As the title suggests, i would like to discuss life on the geographic fringes of American society.  I want to talk about the weird things we see every day, and the wonderful things that people in cities often miss.  I'd like to know how others cope with some of the issues that arise 'out here' and offer support for the same.  I'll share a bit about my life, and hope that others will comment or even contribute about theirs as well.